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mp3 [7.33 MB] | Appears on Poorest Almanac That Ever Lived
I’m a underground hip-hop sensation
when’s the album coming out?
be patient
when you gonna make another mixtape?
relax, dude, I’m only 26
who’s your favorite rapper?
do you really have to ask?
my favorite rapper wears a mask
on the hip-hop bell curve I’m almost a no-show
growing my street team steady and slow
my fan base loves me ’cause I’m so obscure
hoarding the secret like a rush hour detour
I got a test tube Siamese twin
obsessed with graffiti breakdance beatbox turntablism
I’m a underground hip-hop sensation
I live in my mom’s basement
minimal output is the name of the game
minimal output is my middle name
I’ve recorded five songs
I make words that don’t rhyme sound like they do
and make words that do rhyme sound like they might
sometimes I don’t rhyme at all
and other times I rhyme just for spite
I tried the needle and the bottle
Jesus Christ, Aristotle
I thought a lot about it but I had to stop
the hypocrisy of this world disgusts me
when a Tin Pan Alley writer coined a phrase
they would praise him for his freshness and wit
when a radio rapstar does the same
they take it as proof he’s illiterate
yeah, it’s a bunch of bullshit
when I filled out my tax forms there’s a part where it says occupation
I wanted to write in it underground hip-hop sensation
but there aren’t enough letters
but when you think about it I’m not really earning any money so there’s no tax to be returned to me
I recite my lyrics in my head when I swim
doing laps with my Siamese twin
I asked him to destroy all my recordings when I die
he said "what recordings?"
so I played him the first of my five songs
I’m a underground hip-hop sensation
when’s the album coming out?
be patient
when you gonna make another mixtape?
relax, dude, I’m only 26
who’s your favorite rapper
do you really have to ask?
my favorite rapper wears a mask
on the hip-hop bell curve I’m almost a no-show
building my street team steady and slow
my fan base loves me ’cause I’m so obscure
hoarding the secret like a rush hour detour
I’m a underground hip-hop sensation
I live in my mom’s basement
minimal output is the name of the game
minimal output is my middle name
familiarity breeds contempt
five songs
and scarcity breeds demand
mp3 [8.62 MB] | Appears on Wintry Mix
I just now took up drinking ’cause it reminded me of you
sentimental boozing makes a mighty heady brew
I’m not even that good at it but what else is new?
you know me, I never follow through
I bought a pack of cigarettes and coughed up a lung
I should have done what you did and started smoking young
I had a oral fixation when I quit so now I chew that nicotine gum
I climb the grown-up ladder rung by rung
rung by rung
rung by rung
I learned these learned behaviors one by one
all these bogus rites of passage make me wonder when’s the payoff gonna come
I’m no closer to you
I found a deck of playing cards
took a shine to five-card draw
even though I heard it said that gambling’s against the law
I’m a terrible liar and that’s my fatal flaw
I got the worst poker face you ever saw
I tried my hand at honky-tonking
had a string of one-night stands
and whether or not they looked like you I was as happy as a clam
each time the morning came and went I made no further plans
sand through an hourglass
rung by rung
rung by rung
I learned these learned behaviors one by one
though you tremble at my name since I been released into the wild
I’m still an unsophisticated child
mp3 [3.7 MB] | Appears on Las Vegas or Bust
a stranger showed up unannounced one night
said "come on, I got something for you to see"
I tried to protest it
wasn’t my call but I slowed her down as we started to leave
"not so fast
what’s your name?
I wanna get to know you"
the first place we went was the hospital
I got seasick from traveling through time
I was staring at a baby in her arms who looked like me
she said "I bet you’d like to watch yourself die"
"I’d rather not watch anything ’less you tell me to"
we found a 50-gallon drum full of liquid cocaine
she said "what kills you kills him"
I had one last look at the bundle of joy
then tossed that newborn baby in
when I asked "what’s a cyst?"
I didn’t get an answer
it gurgled, cooked and simmered till it steamed
"please tell me it’s a hologram
what I wouldn’t give to never see this again"
she said "you can’t turn your back on God ’cause he’s everywhere"
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